Banana Bars

I won’t say too much about these bars, other than that they are delicious.  You already know that soft, fluffy baked goods drizzled with cream cheese icing are my Kryptonite.  The next time you have a couple of overripe bananas, you know what to do.

Just don’t come knocking.

You can double this recipe and bake it in a 13×9-in. pan.

-2 eggs, room temperature
-1/2 c. granulated sugar
-1/3 c. raw sugar
-1/4 c. vegetable oil
-1/4 c. plain yogurt
-8-oz. bananas (weighed after peeling—about 1 1/2 medium bananas), mashed
-1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
-1 c. all-purpose flour
-1 tsp. baking powder
-1 tsp. ground cinnamon
-1/2 tsp. salt
-1/2 tsp. baking soda

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Pumpkin Bars

“Did a bad, bad thing…”

Every single time I think about these pumpkin bars, the chorus from that Chris Isaak song runs through my head.  I’m not kidding.

Don’t make these.

You won’t be able to stop yourself.  One minute you’re pulling them out of the oven, and the next thing you know, you’re left covered in orange crumbs, your fingers sticky with cream cheese icing, wondering what the hell just happened.

Try to eat just one.

Paula Deen gets credit for this recipe, which makes perfect sense when you consider her other devious creations.  I decided to lighten these pumpkin bars up with some yogurt in place of half the oil.  The substitution worked perfectly, and I’m certain you’ll love their moist quick-bread texture.  I tweaked Paula’s recipe, using fresh pumpkin, fresh ginger, and some raw sugar, but feel free to check out the original recipe, too.

Be strong!  (Next up will be a healthy, savory vegetarian main dish to atone for these sins.)

You hedonists can double this recipe and bake it in a 13×9-in. pan.

-2 eggs, room temperature
-1/2 c. granulated sugar
-1/3 c. raw sugar
-1/4 c. vegetable oil
-1/4 c. plain yogurt
-8-oz. homemade pumpkin puree or canned Libby’s pumpkin puree (NOT
pumpkin pie filling)
-1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
-1 c. all-purpose flour
-1 tsp. baking powder
-1 tsp. ground cinnamon
-1/4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
-1/2 tsp. fresh ginger, grated (or 1/4 tsp. dried ginger)
-1/2 tsp. salt
-1/2 tsp. baking soda

Making pumpkin purée is almost as easy as opening a can…

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Somewhere, Paula Deen Just Squealed

Credit: Sara McPherson

What I really want to know is, how would this taste on a BLT?  Or in chocolate mayonnaise cake?

More importantly, what evil genius came up with Baconnaise?  Is he on PD’s payroll?

Bacon psychos fans, you can get a 3-pack via the internet.

Ingredients and nutrition panel after the jump.

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The Queen of Excess

Martha Stewart takes a lot of flack for pushing all things rich and fattening, but you know, she’s met her match in Paula Deen.  Paula just can’t stop herself: an extra pat of butter here, a hearty dollop of bacon grease there.  And she has a sense of humor—something Martha can only aspire to.  Just check out the mischievous look she flashes at 00:00:14 in this video.  She can barely contain her laughter.  It’s clear she’s up to something very, very naughty.

Credit: Food Network

And is she ever.  It all starts out innocently enough with a chilled tray of macaroni and cheese.  But then Paula pulls out all the stops.  Hey folks, why don’t we dip this here mac in egg and bread crumbs?  And what do you say we deep fry it? I know—let’s be really decadent and wrap it in bacon first, just for the hell of it!

It’s a slippery, lard-greased slope, my friends.  I swear this entire segment must have been the result of a bet.  Paula claims the recipe came in a chance moment of inspiration: “A lot of recipes kind of come to you by accident. . .”  What she fails to mention is that she just won $50 by getting bacon-wrapped, deep fried mac ‘n cheese squares onto national television.  Beat that, Martha!

For some, more is…more.

For the uninitiated: the Red Derby bar here in D.C. serves fried mac ‘n cheese triangles.  Yes, I enjoyed them.  No, I don’t want to talk about it.

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